The stock answer to this question (straight, anyway) is yes: Casual sex is destructive and exhausting. One of the reasons? It’s not just about getting your rocks off, but about getting them off with someone else, too. And a casual hookup is an encounter that is rarely truly consensual. That can’t be the secret to a good time, of course, but it does speak to the ways that our society creates a pressure to get off even before things start to get physical (if that’s even possible).
Though it’s really all about power, control and consent. If you want sex, you can generally get sex (right up to physical abuse and rape, of course). But that consent and individual desire is just never really a sure thing. People get upset about how casual sex is portrayed, but casual sex can really be a lot of fun. You just have to set a few rules.
Do you regret casual sex?
For some people the thought of casual sex is distasteful. If this is you, you should really consider yourself lucky. For millions of people, casual sex is a fun, positive and overall fulfilling experience.
So, in today’s society, casual sex can mean anything from having sex in the backseat of a car, to having no-strings sex with a complete stranger on a sofa, to hooking up with a mutual friend, to hooking up with a hooker, to having a one night stand… basically, at the core of all those concepts is the idea of being able to have sex with a person you want to have sex with but who you are not having sex with.
In short, it’s a lot more complicated than just hooking up to be casual. But that doesn’t mean you have to feel guilty.
What is the difference between casual sex and one night stand?
Casual sex is pretty much just what it sounds like: Sex that’s not serious and/or ongoing. Casual sex can be one-time, or it can be a series of one night stands. It’s when you can have sex with whoever you want, as often as you want without committing to the other person. One-night stands are generally short-term affairs, usually no more than a day or two. They can also be multi-weekend affairs or whatever. They’re more like cheating than casual sex. If you and your partner are exclusive with each other, having one-night stands with other people is not cheating, but
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There are a variety of reasons why having casual sex might not be the best idea. The casual sex relationship itself tends to be high-risk and not as casual as it may appear. And no, we’re not talking about two people who have recently had a dog and therefore you need to sniff each others’ backsides before you know you’ve made a good connection. We’re talking about people with different attitudes toward sex. If one partner says, „Well, I just want to hook up and be friends,” but the other says, „Oh, no, I want more,” this union is all too often lacking in commitment. And the sexual part of a casual relationship? Yeah, a lot of that won’t fly as it’ll appear to have been pre-planned. Just because a hookup meets one’s „sexual needs” doesn’t mean that the two would automatically get on the same page with the next meetup. This is usually more than fine, and sometimes, a great way to get an introduction to a wonderful new person — but sometimes, it’s not. How to stop casual sex from feeling like a high-risk sex situation. Going into a hookup, one of the first questions to ask yourself is why you’re there. If you’re there to hookup and be friends, then you should ask yourself whether you’re comfortable with casual sex. The answer to that is simple. If you are with someone who has „hookup” as their purpose, you need to know that you’re making a giant commitment, and what might feel like an easy way out for some, might not be right for others. If that’s not what you’re after — if this is purely about sex and nothing else — then you need to figure out what you really want. Are you perfectly comfortable with casual sex? If you have no qualms about having sex with someone you just met, you shouldn’t be worried about casual sex. But if you are willing to have a three-way or some other form of casual sex, consider the commitment you’ve made. Is casual sex for you? If you want to have sex and date around casually, feel free to. But if you are looking for a long-term commitment, then consider why you’re hooking up with that person in the first place. And before you embark on this casual romp, be sure that you know what your expectations are. Side note: Let’s be clear about what casual sex is. There are two types: casual dating
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